There is this song by Casey J. It’s called “Fill Me Up”.
I first heard this song when I was going through a hard time of personal growth. I had just learned that my partner had been having an affair with two other men. At the time, I thought this woman cared for me and wouldn’t do anything to hurt me. Well, was I wrong in so many ways! The person that I was with was not the individual I thought she was.
I thought I had this ‘life’ thing all figured out. I focused on giving advice to others and did not see the need to ask for help from anyone. However, when I found this out, the world I knew and had created for myself crumbled around me. So many emotions flooded my mind, I felt alone and unwanted.
So many emotions flooded my mind, I felt alone and unwanted.
During this time, I was also experiencing back and forth problems with my dad. We stopped speaking for a few years. This only added to the dark weight I felt.
As a result, I started acting out of pocket. I was not being the kind and gentle person I wanted to be. The path I was on wasn’t benefiting me and I needed to realize I required help to go in a new direction.
Then one Sunday evening, I was driving home during a thunderstorm. It seemed like I was the only person on the road. I turned on the radio and a song came on that spoke to everything I was going through. It was just what I needed in that season of my life.
I turned on the radio and a song came on that spoke to everything I was going through.
The song sank so deep. I had to pull over the car and pour out my soul for the 8 minutes of the song. I was in tears and apologetic to God because I had turned my back on Him numerous times. At this moment I made a conscious decision to run to Him and never turn back. I needed Him to pour out His spirit over me and fill me up with His love, His presence, and His forgiveness. I was tired of living for myself. I wanted a foundational change moving forward.
Now when I hear that song, I’m at ease. I called on the name of The LORD and He heard me. In fact, He knew I was going to call Him. There was a specific moment during the song when I was about to call His name and at that instant, the song ended and I heard the words “I hear you”. It was scary, yet gratifying. At that moment I was called back to God’s love and He gave me more of Him. God wanted me back and I was accepted by Him with no strings attached.
At that moment I was called back to God’s love and He gave me more of Him.
Alexzander
Brampton, Canada